Could I be intersex? How to get real answers

Author: Aunt Vadge
Qualified Naturopath | BHSc(N)

Last reviewed: July 7, 2026

Dear Aunt Vadge,

I was wondering if you could help me figure out what type of intersex I am? Everything looks like a normal female, but there’s something inside my vagina – my partner says it feels like a very small penis. I’ve always had odd, uncomfortable periods, and tampons have always been painful.

I didn’t even know it was there until my partner told me. I didn’t go very far in puberty and stopped growing around age 11, and I’ve been called androgynous since then. Since I have a period, I’m at least mostly female, right?

Yours,
V.
Age 25, Texas

Hi V,

Thank you for trusting me with this. I can’t tell you exactly what’s going on from a letter. But I can tell you that your instinct to get this properly understood is exactly right, and that there’s nothing here to be ashamed of.

First, a reassuring clarification: a penis doesn’t grow inside the vagina – that doesn’t happen in any pattern of sexual development – so whatever your partner is feeling is almost certainly something else: your cervix, a band of tissue (a vaginal septum or remnant), a cyst, or another anatomical variation.

An exam will identify what it actually is, and that’s truly the only way to know. And yes, having a period is a meaningful sign that your ovaries, uterus and vagina are connected and working, which is reassuring.

But I don’t want to gloss over the other things you’ve described, because they’re real clues worth taking seriously together: puberty that stalled early, growth stopping around 11, periods that have always been ‘odd’, and painful tampons.

That combination really does warrant a proper look – it could point to a difference of sexual development (DSD), a hormonal cause, or an anatomical one. ‘Intersex’ and DSD cover a wide spectrum, and many people go years without anyone joining these dots for them.

So ask your GP for a referral to a specialist gynaecologist (ideally one experienced in differences of sexual development), and an endocrinologist may be involved too – they can examine you, run hormone and imaging tests, and finally give you a clear picture of your own body.

This isn’t something we can assess at My Vagina; it needs that specialist workup. Please do follow it up rather than sit with the not-knowing, because understanding what’s going on matters for your comfort and health now, and for your options later, including fertility if children are something you might want one day.

You deserve real answers, and they’re very much gettable. Be kind to yourself – there’s nothing wrong with you, just something to understand. Write any time.

Best,
Aunt Vadge

This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.