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Hi Aunt Vadge,
I started a relationship with my boyfriend three months ago, and our sex life was amazing. But recently I’ve noticed my vagina is dry even after foreplay. Why does this happen? It used to be wet easily. Please guide me.
Yours,
Dry
Age 22, India
Dear Dry,
There are a few reasons for this, and the most likely one is also the most reassuring: at the start of a new relationship you’re really into, your body practically gushes – everything’s novel and exciting, so arousal and lubrication come thick and fast.
After a while that settles, simply because the ‘juicy emergency’ of brand-new lust eases off; we’re not wired to be that easy to turn on all the time (it’s exhausting, and a bit dehydrating). That dial-down doesn’t mean you’re any less attracted to him – it just means your body has relaxed into the relationship.
Beyond that, a few ordinary things change how wet you get from one time to the next. Your cycle is a big one – natural lubrication swings a lot across the month, peaking around ovulation and dropping in the days before your period – so some of this is just timing.
Being stressed, tired, dehydrated, or in your head rather than in the moment all reduce wetness too, because lubrication runs on relaxed blood flow, not effort. Hormonal contraception is another very common and overlooked cause, dialling lubrication down if you’ve started something recently.
And, gently, it’s worth being honest with yourself: if something about how he treats you has shifted – less attentive, a bit careless – your body sometimes registers that before your mind does.
None of this is a problem to fix so much as understand. Don’t grit your teeth through dryness – use a good lube (water-based, or a little coconut oil if there are no latex condoms), give arousal plenty of unhurried time, and notice where you are in your cycle.
If you’re consistently dry even when you’re relaxed, aroused and well into your cycle, mention it to a doctor and take a look at your contraception. But most likely this is just the natural settling of a new relationship, which is completely normal.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
