Understanding Virginity and Sexual Sensation

Hello Aunt Vadge,

So me and my girlfriend had talks about sexual history with our past partners and she claims that she is a virgin.

Well they were sexually involved in the sense that they had lots of foreplay and she also mentioned that he rubbed his penis on top of her vaginal opening. Since I have never had sex before, I had some questions in my mind.

1) Is it possible to get the tip of the penis inside the vaginal opening without putting any pressure? Like is it just possible to slide it in if a girl is a virgin?

2) Would a girl be able to understand that the tip went in?

I know the questions are sorta weird but I am just curious to know because I don’t have a lot of knowledge about sex or the female anatomy.

Thanks in advance,
Unsure
Age 18, Mexico
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Hello Unsure,

It’s perfectly normal to have questions about sex and anatomy when you’re new to these experiences, so there’s no need to feel embarrassed. I’ll address your questions one by one:

Is it possible for the tip of the penis to enter the vaginal opening without applying pressure, even if a girl is a virgin?

The entry of a penis into the vagina – even just the tip – typically requires some degree of guidance and usually gentle pressure. If a woman is particularly relaxed, aroused, and naturally lubricated, it might be easier for the tip of the penis to slide in, but it’s not generally something that would happen without any conscious effort or awareness.

The term “virgin” traditionally refers to someone who has not had penetrative vaginal sex, although it’s worth noting that definitions of virginity can vary culturally and personally.

Would a girl be able to feel if the tip went in?

Yes, most women would be able to feel if the tip of a penis entered the vaginal opening, as the nerves in that area are quite sensitive. This sensation can vary from person to person, but there is generally an awareness of penetration, especially if it’s the individual’s first sexual experience involving penetration.

The hymen, a thin membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening in some women, has long been associated with virginity. However, it’s important to understand that the hymen can stretch or tear from many activities that aren’t sexual, such as sports or tampon use. It’s also possible to have the hymen intact even after sexual activity, since not all forms of penetration affect it significantly.

Remember, open and honest communication with your partner about sexual history and boundaries is essential. Your girlfriend’s definition of virginity and her sexual experiences are for her to define. It’s important to respect her perspective and to proceed with consent and mutual understanding in your own sexual relationship.

If you or your girlfriend have further questions about sex, anatomy, or any concerns relating to your sexual health, I encourage you to check out Vag Basics, How to have sex 101, our instructional guide on cunnilingus, fingering basics and other resources. Learning about these topics is a great way to prepare for a healthy and enjoyable sexual life.

Take care,
Aunt Vadge

References^1–5

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Day FR, Helgason H, Chasman DI, et al. Physical and neurobehavioral determinants of reproductive onset and success. Nat Genet. Published online April 18, 2016:617-623. doi:10.1038/ng.3551
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Higgins JA, Trussell J, Moore NB, Davidson JK. Virginity Lost, Satisfaction Gained? Physiological and Psychological Sexual Satisfaction at Heterosexual Debut. The Journal of Sex Research. Published online April 15, 2010:384-394. doi:10.1080/00224491003774792
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Olson RM, García-Moreno C. Virginity testing: a systematic review. Reprod Health. Published online May 18, 2017. doi:10.1186/s12978-017-0319-0