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Hello Aunt Vadge,
I have pain after sex. This time my vagina was dry. I’m not a virgin and had sex many times with my ex, but now with my new boyfriend my vagina is dry and I get an itchy, inflamed, painful sensation around my posterior fourchette and fossa navicularis.
Why is this happening, and what do I do? Does it mean antibiotic or antifungal tablets or cream? I don’t really understand what to do.
Thank you,
Worried
Hello Worried,
This sounds like a friction problem, and it’s both common and very fixable. The clue is that it’s new – it didn’t happen with your ex but does with your new boyfriend – which usually means it’s about how things are happening now, not something wrong with you.
The most likely culprit is simply not being wet enough at the point of penetration: when there isn’t enough lubrication, the thrusting drags on the most delicate spots (your posterior fourchette and the little hollow just below it, the fossa navicularis – exactly where you feel it), leaving them sore, itchy and inflamed afterwards.
With a new partner, nerves, a different rhythm, size or angle, and being a little less relaxed can all mean less natural wetness, and the friction does the rest.
So first, give the tender area a few days’ rest from sex to settle – warm baths, comfy cotton underwear, and leave it alone.
Then, next time, use plenty of lubricant and don’t be shy with it, reapplying as you go. Coconut oil works beautifully if you’re not using condoms, but with condoms you must use a water-based lube, because oils and silicone degrade latex. Take your time getting properly aroused before penetration, too, since that’s what gets your own lubrication flowing.
A couple of things worth knowing: if it’s specifically itchy and inflamed rather than just sore, keep an eye on whether a new condom, lube or even your partner’s body is irritating your skin (an irritant or allergic reaction is possible), and if you’re dry even when you’re fully aroused, or the soreness keeps returning despite plenty of lube, see a doctor – that can point to a hormonal or skin cause worth checking.
Please don’t reach for antibiotics or antifungal creams for this, though: there’s no sign of an infection here, and treating one you don’t have just irritates things further (and raises your infection risk through more tearing). For most people in your shoes, the answer really is just: rest, then lube, and the wetter the better.
For soothing and healing minor cuts and tears, here’s how to deal with cuts and tears from fingering and rough sex.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
