Dealing with Sex Injuries: Hemorrhoids & UTIs Explained

Hi Aunt Vadge,

I’m 20 years old and this weekend I had sex for the first time. I now have a large bluish lump on my the rim of my anus coming up on my perineum. It’s about the size of a grape and very painful. I’ve been fingered before, and while it can be very painful after the first finger, nothing like this has ever happened before.

I’ve also been getting the urge to urinate when I don’t have to, and I think it may be bleeding. I’ve been spotting, so I’m not sure if it’s just that or the injury.

May be worth saying that he accidentally tried to enter me anally at first. I really don’t know what to do please help!

Yours,
Lumpy
_____

Hi there Lumpy,

Sounds grim. Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of sex injuries! An anal penetration mistake is incredibly painful, you have my deepest sympathies. That happened to me once, and I couldn’t sit down for a week. It was insanely painful.

But, if your boyfriend went from your anus to your vagina, you may have even bigger problems than just the bulge and pain. The urinary urgency/frequency may be a urinary tract infection or even aerobic vaginitis (AV).

Never let anything from the anus – even if it was an accident – then into your vagina, as it carries a lot of bacteria that can cause infections. It’s a definite no-no.

The first thing to do is go and be examined by a doctor or sexual health clinic and get their opinion. You may need treatment, and the sooner the better.

Is this a haemorrhoid?

It would seem that your boyfriend mistakenly penetrating your anus – even a little bit – with his erection may have given you a haemorrhoid or varicose vein. It may have also damaged the delicate tissue.

Haemorrhoids are small grape-like protrusions in and around the anus/anal area due to pressure that damages a vein, causing it to bulge.

Although haemorrhoids are not dangerous, they can be extraordinarily uncomfortable, and they tend to burst from time to time when you have a bowel motion, which can cause spotting or some bright red blood on the toilet paper. You don’t mention precisely where you are spotting from, but if you can pinpoint it to your bluish bulge, a haemorrhoid may be the answer.

Don’t aggravate the problem, drink plenty of water and eat plenty of fibre to keep your stools soft and easy to pass (vegetables). Don’t use pre-moistened toilet wipes, as they generally irritate the problem. They contain chemicals that, when in contact with a raw bottom can aggravate it.

Be super gentle when wiping, and rinse with warm water if you find it getting itchy. Haemorrhoids can itch when faeces get into the gaps of raw, exposed vein tissue and start to irritate it. If you can, wash gently with warm water after a bowel motion to avoid this lingering.

Have cool or warm baths, use cooling ice packs, and err on the side of looser stools rather than constipation – constipation causes hemorrhoids and will make the problem worse.

Haemorrhoids at your age should resolve quickly without issue, but you must be examined to ensure this is the case – it might not be.

Your urinary frequency problem

In relation to the urge to urinate when you don’t have to, you sound like you have a urinary tract infection. This happens when bacteria from your anal area gets into your urethra – over 95 per cent of urinary tract infections are caused by bacteria found in the anal canal. This wouldn’t be surprising, since your boyfriend has done the unthinkable crime of double dipping you.

Double dipping is where you put something into the anus, then the vagina, or go back and forth between vagina and anus, which is one of the fastest ways to give yourself a vaginal or urinary tract infection.

The healthcare provider you see will most likely provide you with antibiotics. If you want other options, My Vagina’s UTI Oral Herbal Medicine is excellent, can vouch as a UTI sufferer!

If the UTI doesn’t resolve, take a look at our UTI page for some more tips and advice, including some reflexology points that I’ve used for many years with great success to completely resolve UTIs without resorting to antibiotics.

Ongoing, your sexual hygiene needs some serious work. I know it was your first time, but it doesn’t sound like your sexual experiences have been much fun at all, and that’s a problem.

Sexual hygiene tips

1. Never, ever, ever, ever let anything that has been anywhere near your anus near your vagina – fingers, toys, mouths, penises. EVER. Don’t think this time an infection won’t happen; it will. Be diligent and make sure your lover(s) know what not to do. Young men don’t know about these sticky little details since they don’t have to worry about it. It’s your job to teach them.

2. Don’t have sex that hurts, ever. Your pleasure is important, just as important as your partners, so if something hurts or you’re not enjoying it, you can ask them to stop and try something else. You are not a receptacle. If someone is fingering you and starts using more than one finger, and it’s uncomfortable, say that one finger feels awesome, two is a bit much!

You and your lover would benefit from reading our article on fingering basics – you can read it together or apart, but you both sound like you could use a bit of help on what and what not to do with your vagina. It’s not going too well so far! The fingering post explains a bit more about the female body for both of you in simple terms, so read it and never get painfully fingered again.

3. Urinate after sex every time to push out bacteria and skin cells and sex juice from your urethra. If you aren’t sure, shower. You will soon learn what you can and can’t get away with.

4. Make sure you are eating plenty of fermented foods or use a good quality vaginal probiotic to keep your protective lactobacilli balance high. Lactobacillus are the vaginal bacteria that ward off invading bacteria, including inside the urethra, and help keep infections away.

If you need anything else, you know where we are!

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge