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Hi Aunt Vadge,
I was fingered by my boyfriend about four days ago for the first time. At the start it was very painful, but after a while the pain went. Now a new problem has come up.
It keeps feeling like I need to pee, but when I go to the washroom, hardly anything comes out. I’m exhausted with it, and I haven’t been sleeping well. Also, the day after he fingered me my period stopped, and there’s some itching around my clitoris. Is everything normal? Help me, please!
Sincerely,
Unsure
India
Dear Unsure,
That constant feeling of needing to pee, with barely anything coming out, is the classic sign of a urinary tract infection (UTI). Fingering can nudge bacteria towards the urethra, so a UTI turning up a few days after first-time fingering is very common.
Four days in and losing sleep over it is past the point of waiting it out, so please see a doctor to get it checked and treated. A UTI that’s left too long can travel up to the kidneys, and you don’t want that. While you’re there, it’s worth a quick word about the itching too: after new sexual contact, symptoms like this can occasionally come from an infection passed on during sex, so a simple urine test and, if there’s any chance of it, an STI check will tell you exactly what you’re dealing with rather than guessing.
The itching around your clitoris may simply be irritation from the friction, especially as the first bit was painful, and it will often settle on its own – but if it hangs around or comes with unusual discharge, mention that at the same appointment.
One more thing, gently: fingering shouldn’t hurt. Sexy things are meant to feel good, so it’s worth reading the guide to fingering together with your boyfriend – plenty of warm-up, plenty of lubrication, and a gentle touch. Never let anyone touch you in a way that causes pain; that’s not how it’s supposed to work, and pushing through it just leads to more problems.
Write anytime, and let me know how you get on.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
- Kaur R, Kaur R. Symptoms, risk factors, diagnosis and treatment of urinary tract infections. Postgraduate Medical Journal. 2021;97(1154):803–812.
