Aunt Vadge: after fingering I need to pee heaps

Hi Aunt Vadge, 

I was fingered by my boyfriend around four days ago for the first time, and in the beginning, it was very painful, but after some time, the pain was gone. But, a new problem has arisen. Everytime it feels like I need to pee, but when I go to the washroom, it doesn’t work. I’m exhausted with this problem, and I even haven’t been able to sleep well during the night.

Help me, please! 

Oh, yes one more thing. When he fingered me, the very next day when my period is off, and yes, there is some itching in the clit. Is everything normal? 

Sincerely,
Unsure
India, Age 18

Dear Unsure

It sounds like maybe you have a urinary tract infection – the main symptom of that is feeling like you need to pee, and then nothing much coming out. We’ve covered this at our UTI page, but you may need to go and see your doctor to get proper medical treatment.

They sometimes get better by themselves, but often they don’t, and they are very, very uncomfortable. If the infection gets worse, it can travel to your kidneys and cause damage. Don’t wait to get it treated.

You really need to read the guide to fingering, and get your boyfriend to read it too. You should never, ever be fingered if it hurts, and that is probably why you are experiencing these other symptoms. It means your boyfriend doesn’t know what he’s doing, and you need to do better – both of you. It’s not fun if it hurts, and sexy stuff is supposed to be fun!

Never let anyone touch you in a way that causes you pain – it’s not how the vagina works, and it will cause you other problems.

Eat lots of fermented foods (kefir, water kefir, sauerkraut, tempeh, kimchi) or take some good probiotics just to get the good bacteria throughout your system, and if you are still suffering, see your doctor. Drink plenty of water to flush out the bacteria and relieve some of the discomfort.

Write again anytime.

Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica is a degree-qualified naturopath (BHSc) specialising in vulvovaginal health and disease, based in Melbourne, Australia.

Jessica is the owner and lead naturopath of My Vagina, and is a member of the:

  • International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD)
  • International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH)
  • National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) Australia
  • New Zealand Vulvovaginal Society (ANZVS)
  • Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS)
Read more about Jessica and My Vagina's origin story.
Jessica Lloyd - Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

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