Hi Aunt Vadge,
I am becoming very frustrated and need some advice please!
I have a fissure/cut below the opening of my vagina that keeps reopening. I have had scarring for a few years but a few months ago after sex with my partner, a painful cut appeared.
I phoned my doctor and was told to wait a while before having sex, keep it clean, etc. We waited three weeks, as it seemed to be healed. It reopened even though we had used plenty of lube and took it slow.
We then waited six weeks. The scar was there but it all looked good. We had sex and it didn’t open, woo hoo! We waited a few days and did it again… but this time the fissure came back! Why is this happening?
My fiancé and I have been together for two years, and it started up after one year this time, but this started a couple of years ago with another partner. It started happening again when I moved in with my partner and was quite stressed.
When it started happening, I also started getting a strange feeling/cramping after sex occasionally. It’s hard to explain, but after he pulled out, I would feel pain in my stomach.
I would feel sick, dizzy, and like I needed to empty my bowels, which lasted about five minutes and then I would feel fine.
The doctor told me that my partner was hitting my cervix and I possibly had a vasovagal reaction. We changed positions and he didn’t go as deep, and we haven’t had this issue since. I was told I had a tilted cervix, so we have had to find a position that was comfortable.
I was in a relationship for five years prior to this, without issue, but his penis bent to the side a bit more, so may have fitted with me a little easier! This did make me worried about sex, however, and I would tense up.
Before these fissures, I have always enjoyed a good sex life. We used to have LOADS (up to four times a day) without any fissuring. I was told I had scarring in a smear test a couple of years ago.
I must also mention that I had quite rough sex with my previous partner about a year before my current partner, and bled quite badly. I thought this was the start of it, but after going to the doctors the day after, they advised this must have been from him hitting my cervix, because I wasn’t cut. It was quite a lot of blood though, so it seems strange it wasn’t from a cut.
The cut is about half an inch long, maybe bigger, right in the middle underneath the opening of my vagina, inside of me. It bleeds a bit after sex, but not much. We use natural lubes. I don’t have any skin conditions, but I am on antidepressants (Citalopram) and the pill (Millinette 30/75).
I am also on the pill, and have been since I was 16, though I changed brand last year. I don’t eat a lot of meat, but enjoy my fruit and veges, cooking from scratch most days. I’ve been craving a lot more sugar recently, which I think is due to stress. I used to get thrush quite often but haven’t had it for a while.
My partner is also quite prone to thrush. My fiancé is very patient but this has definitely been affecting our intimacy. We are a couple who used to very much enjoy sex. I now worry every time that it’s going to be painful. The feeling after of seeing the scar reopen is so frustrating.
I have spoken to the doctor about this. I was given Fucibet cream (betamethasone, fusidic acid) but this just stings and doesn’t seem to help it heal any quicker. Also It says on the booklet that this shouldn’t be used inside the vagina. The cut is kind of inside the vagina so I stopped using it.
What can I do to help it? Will I ever have sex without this happening again?
I am getting very upset after sex due to the frustration of it, and I am someone who very much enjoys sex and doesn’t want it to be painful. Thanks in advance.
Very grateful for your help!
Best,
Frustrated
Age: 28
UK
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Dear Frustrated,
The old mystery tear, huh! It sounds extremely uncomfortable and very frustrating indeed. Here are some ideas.
Musculoskeletal
Book in to see a pelvic physiotherapist or an osteopath that specialises in pelvic/gynaecological osteopathy.
There are so many bones, muscles, ligaments and tendons that hold our pelvis in place, and it’s possible that your vaginal canal/cervix/uterus are sitting in an unusual position, which could cause your partner’s penis to push on the wrong area of your vagina, where you are tearing and hurting.
Protein deficiency
If you don’t eat a lot of protein, you may find you have other symptoms like flaky or weak fingernails, and wounds slow to heal (or in your vagina’s case, wounds that open easily).
Have a palm-sized portion of protein with every meal – meat, egg, tofu, tempeh, beans, chickpeas, lentils, nuts, seeds, and so on.
Medication
The effects of medication on our bodies cannot be underestimated with niggling issues like this. Anti-depressants and the pill are both important parts of your self-care in various ways but they can come at a cost.
You don’t say how long you have been on antidepressants, but they are famous for drying us up and causing unexpected issues.
The pill is also another major culprit of mysterious niggles. It’s really hard to know if it’s either of those meds (or both!) without going off them. If you felt like you were up for it, it can be useful to go off the pill and see how your body behaves off it – you have been on it for a very long time.
Getting a hormone panel run might also be useful, to see if you are perhaps running a little low in oestrogen.
Yeast infections
You mention quite a lot of yeast infections between you and your partner. Perhaps a deeper yeast infection could cause this – there are sorts of yeast that grow roots and invade tissue.
These yeasts don’t always appear on tests, since a test is usually a swab, and doesn’t get deeper into the tissue. If you and your partner are both prone to yeast infections, it might be useful to put you both on a yeast biofilm treatment.
Yeast blooms often come from the gut, and yeast create biofilms which stick to your cells, blocking other healthy microbes, and making it really easy for flare-ups to occur. There are a few really good options for removing yeast gut and vaginal biofilms. Check more on the yeast page.
What to do in the interim
The best thing for you is to avoid splitting it again, obviously, but in terms of healing, keep your zinc levels up, lots of protein – things that keep our flesh (meat, essentially) strong, and help it heal fast with as little scarring as possible.
Book in with a qualified, experienced practitioner and do some digging!
Write anytime!
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
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