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Hi Aunt Vadge,
I have a fissure/cut below the opening of my vagina that keeps reopening. I’ve had scarring for a few years, but a few months ago a painful cut appeared after sex. My doctor said to wait before having sex, keep it clean, etc.
We waited three weeks; it seemed healed, then reopened even though we used plenty of lube and took it slow. We waited six weeks – the scar was there but it looked good, we had sex and it didn’t open, hooray – then a few days later it came back.
My fiancé and I have been together two years, and it flared again after a year this time, but this started a couple of years ago with a different partner, and came back when I moved in with my partner and was quite stressed.
Why is this happening?
Yours,
Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
A cut that keeps reopening in the exact same spot below your vaginal opening, on a background of scarring you’ve had for a couple of years, is a really telling pattern – and it points to something specific that’s worth getting properly assessed rather than just ‘waiting longer between attempts’.
That spot is the posterior fourchette, the most common place to tear, and once it’s torn and healed it can leave a small, tight, fragile area that re-splits every time it’s stretched, which is your whole ‘healed, then sex, then back again’ story.
Lube and going slow help, but they can’t fix a structurally weakened spot on their own.
Two things I’d want a vulval-aware clinician to check, because they change the treatment completely. First, that years-long ‘scarring’ is worth examining for a skin condition like lichen sclerosus, which makes vulval skin thin, pale and fragile so it splits at the slightest stretch, is easily missed, and responds really well to the right prescribed cream once it’s diagnosed.
Second, whether there’s a provoked vestibulodynia or guarded pelvic-floor component, which is common after months of painful, anxious sex – and your stress and the moving-in timing fit that, because stress winds the pelvic floor tighter and makes tearing more likely.
A pelvic-floor physiotherapist plus a gynaecologist or vulval clinic is the combination that actually cracks recurrent fourchette fissures, rather than another round of ‘rest and lube’.
In the meantime, keep using generous lube and lots of arousal, consider whether the contraceptive pill is in the picture (it can thin the vestibular tissue and make this worse), and don’t keep pushing through – but the real move is to get that scarring looked at properly.
This is a known, treatable problem; you just need the right eyes on it.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
This is general information based on current research and our clinical experience, not a substitute for personalised medical advice.
