Gay Dave’s Tales From the Other Side Part 1

Gay Dave

A Gay Man’s Experience of Vagina

I am writing to you as a gay man, a man who has only ever had sex with men, up until recent times that is. This is a brief insight into the world of vagina and a woman’s psyche from the perspective of someone with fresh eyes, a somewhat objective view, someone who is not expected to have great skills in such an area. This is a two part installation.

It has been the case that throughout my life I have found women attractive, but for two main reasons I had never taken the vaginal plunge. Firstly, feeling virginal after many years perfecting my sexual habits as a gay man, and secondly feeling obliged to explain my unusual situation, and gaining her informed consent before the deed took place. Neither of these are conducive to a spontaneous sensual night of vaginal passion. At the age of 29, however, this happened… not just once, but multiple times over a fortnight.

I was fortunate to find a woman who was both attractive and patient enough to encourage and educate me. The experience was not ‘disgusting’ or ‘repulsive’, which many a gay man would refer to vagina dealings as.  It was an experience which was not entirely unpleasant, but not entirely right either.

The complexities of the vagina far outweigh those of the penis and I have a newfound sympathy for straight guys. The coordination required to stimulate the vaginal canal, the clitoris and the breasts simultaneously proved a challenge. Being born with three hands or even some extra long opposable digits would have been most helpful, however failing freaky spontaneous evolution, I gave it my best shot. I even did the unthinkable in the gay world and went down on her.

Two of the many differences are the vagina’s lube-producing abilities and the comparative looseness of the vaginal canal versus the anal canal. So despite making the whole experience more or less prep free and being assertively informed the bottle of lube I produced was not needed, the looseness was most unsatisfactory. I don’t consider this due to my lack of girth either!

The smell of a vagina, although not unpleasant, is different, the additional mess over my entire lower jaw was unique, the sounds a woman makes are feminine as is the entire energy. What follows may only apply to the particular pairing of this woman and my taste; I continue with fear of offending women and risking mass mobbing from the straight male population for my unappreciative stance.

The biggest turn off was none of the above mentioned differences. It was the fact that I felt suddenly transported into a surreal, scripted porno. The sexy looks, the ooing, the cooing, the giggles, it was the trying so hard to be sexy that in fact caused the contrary effect. It may be this very thing which certain men seek and I truly wish them luck in their search!

From my escapades I have been reassured that I have been pursuing my preferred gender in partners for my entire life and at present there is no need for me to roam into the world of vagina again, but I never say never.

In the second instalment I will be talking about the emotional elements of this experience, so until then, thanks for reading.

Your intrepid explorer,

Gay Dave

Read Part 2

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Jessica Lloyd - Vulvovaginal Specialist Naturopathic Practitioner, BHSc(N)

Jessica is a degree-qualified naturopath (BHSc) specialising in vulvovaginal health and disease, based in Melbourne, Australia.

Jessica is the owner and lead naturopath of My Vagina, and is a member of the:

  • International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (ISSVD)
  • International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH)
  • National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) Australia
  • New Zealand Vulvovaginal Society (ANZVS)
  • Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS)