Hi Aunt Vadge,
I (19) was fooling around with one of my guy friends (20). I told him that I am not having sex with him because I wish to give that to my future husband one day. But I got really horny. He put the tip in without any protection. (Keeping in mind that I am still a virgin).
I am scared that his precum may have come in and I want to know will these actions lead to a possible pregnancy. I don’t want to be pregnant.
Sincerely,
Scared
Age: 19
Country/Area: South Africa
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Dear Scared,
You need to establish whether it’s possible that you were ovulating at the time the tip went in. If you could have been, then it’s possible for your friend’s precum to be fertile, and for you to be pregnant. The chances of this having happened are slim, but it’s not impossible by any means. Worse things have happened!
How to figure out if you were possibly ovulating during your dalliance is reasonably easy. You should be charting your cycles anyway, with a period tracker app or calendar, which tells you how many days long your cycles are. Once you know how many days there are in your cycle, you can figure out where the middle is, which is usually around when you will ovulate. Ovulation usually occurs about two weeks from the first day of your period, counting backwards.
The number of days between when you get your period and when you ovulate is always the same, but the number of days between when you get your period and when you ovulate can and do change. In the mythical 28-day cycle, you would ovulate on day 14, with day one being the first day of your period.
It can sound a little confusing, but if you just remember that you ovulate two weeks before you get your period, every month, then you can always count backwards.
Read about how to tell if you are ovulating – in future, it will give you a good guideline on where you’re at in your cycle.
Also, it would pay to consider your sexual options a little more carefully – you are clearly into sex, which may mean it is just a matter of time before ‘just the tip’ becomes the whole thing! It is literally a slippery slope. I know it can be tricky navigating sex and virginity, but if you are going to be having sex, even ‘by mistake’, then you need to know when you are ovulating and think about protection.
This situation, where you are pretending you are not having sex, is exactly how you end up pregnant!
Don’t let that be what happens to you because you are trying to protect your virgin status. Sex is really fun, but freaking out about being pregnant when it is totally avoidable should become a thing of the past for you. You might want to think about how important retaining your ‘virginity’ is for you, since it might be smarter for you to just enjoy the sex, and use a condom or go on birth control. Virginity can be a bit overrated! You’ve just experienced the deliciousness of the tip. Good luck resisting!
We’ve written about being a virgin, and what that means, in our article about virginity.
Write anytime.
Warmest regards,
Aunt Vadge
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