Dear Aunt Vadge,
Married 30 years to the same partner. Years back had two Bartholin’s gland cysts, and one emergency 1996 operation where the instruments were dirty and I got herpes. Now have developed pain all of sudden with sex, and might have Epstein Barr virus.
What can I do to have sex again?I’m very dry. The doctor gave me hormone cream, Vexxy, for extreme dryness. I use coconut oil, but sex is too painful. I might also have mold in the house. I will get it tested.
Nobody knows how to help me. I get glutathione shots from a naturopathic doctor, have acupuncture, eat organic, and don’t drink or smoke.
Help!
Thanks so much
Blessings
N.
Age: 71
Country: California
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Dear N,
You don’t mention if the Epstein-Barr virus seems to be related to the painful sex, although it seems like it is by your email. Our article on EBV and how it can affect the vulva and vagina may help you see if the virus is affecting your vagina.
EBV can cause ulcers and likely other vulvovaginal symptoms. Symptoms will vary between people. You sound like you’re suffering from extreme dryness.
It might be useful to talk to your naturopath about phyto-oestrogens to try to bump up your oestrogenic activity in a weak and safe way. You can use foods or herbal medicine for this effect, plus the oestrogen cream you’ve been prescribed.
There are also some other options that you could look into such as laser or radiofrequency treatments that stimulate your vaginal cells to produce moisture and function better.
It sounds like you need to possibly give yourself some time to heal up, and then try sex again when your vagina feels a little better. Trying to have sex with a painful vagina can set you up with a pain and fear cycle, so just be mindful of causing yourself pain.
It sounds like you are doing all the good stuff re acupuncture, eating well and taking care of yourself, though I know it can be frustrating to be taking such good care and then become unwell!
Unfortunately our bodies are imperfect and sometimes screws come loose. Your medical conditions are very specific to you, and for that reason, it would be unethical for me to offer you any specific advice – I don’t have enough information I’m afraid – and so I would urge you to push your practitioners further for help.
I hope the information I’ve offered helps in some way!
Best,
Aunt Vadge