Talking about genitals and reproductive anatomy in vague terms isn’t helpful, and perpetuates the idea that the genitals are off-limits for discussion in any natural way. This avoidance only harms us and our children.
Explaining the different areas of your child’s genitals to them is not just for their own benefit in life, but to help explain their pain or discomfort to you or their doctor or teacher when it matters. If something is wrong, you need to be able to clarify which part – exactly – has a problem. ‘Down there’ just isn’t good enough.
Calling body parts by their real names is even more important when it comes to abuse prevention, with standard dialect being a key component of protecting kids.
Age-appropriate anatomically correct terms promote positive body image and self-confidence and facilitate better parent-child communication. This discourages perpetrators, who often employ shame and secrets as a tool. If abuse does occur, it is a useful tool for figuring out just what has gone on and where.
Teaching plain and accurate language is the only way forward for healthier and happier lives. Body parts are body parts, and they shouldn’t come with stigma or shame.
Health questions should be answered accurately and honestly, and help should be given when requested. Schools and out-of-school activities aren’t always safe places for kids, so leaving them without any tools for communicating issues accurately leaves them at a disadvantage.
Private parts are private parts, and kids need to know nobody else is allowed to touch theirs without their consent. This matters. Opening the lines of communication means children can feel safe and comfortable asking questions and talking about their bodies.
Names kids should know:
- Vagina
- Vulva
- Penis
- Testicles
- Anus
Younger kids usually don’t need to know too much more. As they get older – into their preteens and teens – it’s important to move on to the next phase of learning about anatomy. Puberty can come as quite a shock, and hormones change the look and feel of the vagina and vulva.
If you are struggling to talk to your kids, get support. It’s not always easy to overcome our own training, so find support, get books, and get to it. Your kids need you.
References1,2
- 1.Camωes‐Costa V, Erjavec M, Horne PJ. THE IMPACT OF BODY‐PART‐NAMING TRAINING ON THE ACCURACY OF IMITATIVE PERFORMANCES IN 2‐ TO 3‐YEAR‐OLD CHILDREN. J Exper Analysis Behavior. Published online November 2011:291-315. doi:10.1901/jeab.2011.96-291
- 2.Chang HR, Ngo M, Mauskar MM, Marathe KS. “Vulva,” Not “Private Part”: The Importance of Accurate Genital Terminology. Pediatric Dermatology. Published online November 11, 2024. doi:10.1111/pde.15768
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